my dear mother:by pamies daghter-dislexic daghter-Erin.

to my dear mother.
i need you to remember something.
can you do that for me?
I am your daughter.
I will allways love you.
do you under stand.
always.
always i will love you
for i am your daughter.
To my dear mother.
I need you to remember something.
can you do that for me?
I will always be your baby.
you will always love me.
Right?
always.
always you will love me
for i am your baby.
To my dear mother.
I need you to remeber something.
can you do that for me?
do not frett.
you will always have a purpuse.
always and for ever.

dropped like an unwanted stone

I remember looking at her in her incubator, staring at those big brown eyes, staring right back at me. I was thinking "so, you're the one who's been bouncing around in my tummy for the past 42 weeks". I remember so many things, like they only happened 5 minutes ago.

She remembers not. On her way to adulthood fast and furious. Looking forward, never back. Me, I only look back because there she is with me. The tomorrows, she is not.

What then is my purpose?

In All Fairness to American Tourists...

Well as anyone who knows me already knows, I am disgusted by the ignorance of people visiting our country. I bitch and complain and rant and rave about them. Here is a cheerful change on the flip side of that coin. I was serving a Canadian customer who was unhappy with our store's selection of Coke only products. He asked if our company was American. I said, well yes they are. That's it then! He declared. You are run by an American company, therefore you have to sell Coke products only. REALLLLLLLY! because I thought Pepsi was just as American as Coke. (he wanted Pepsi)

It is so nice to be ejumacated by smart people.

Gentleman

There is no such thing.
Submit to my ways man.
Do as I say man.
I rule man.
But gentleman....
no such thing.

this stupid blogger site

Ok, how the hell do I make a comment on my friend's blog when I am listed as a follower. How many times do I have to sign in to a page just to do something????

Doing what I can

As I sit in the quiet of your absence
and recount the days gone past
I hope you realize that I have tried
I know you want so many things
that I just can't give you
I give you my love
I'm not sure you even know it
It is your birthday and I can only
make you a cake and make your dinner
I've got you a few little things
Things that you don't really want
but you accept
because you are so used to being
disappointed by me
But your Dad will get you everything you ask
I'm sorry that all I ever do is let you down
my son

What About When You Meet Famous People

Well today at work, I had a customer whom I adore. It was none other than Sarah Harmer.
I am a fan of hers. I love her music. I love that she tries to open people's eyes to the environment to.

Anyway, I always thought I was a cool cucumber. WRONG!
I was a complete fool. Gushing and saying OH MY GOD! I told her my daughters and I are huge fans. She said I made her day.

Wow.
She sure as hell made mine.

Then I screwed up stuff the rest of the day. I'm going to use my over excitement and lack of ability to concentrate as my excuse.

I'll have to think of a new one tomorrow.

American Tourist Weekend Rant

Well it was one of those weekends at the travel plaza.
You know the kind I mean......American Travellers who believe that everyone in the world uses American dollars.
Oh yes, they were out again.
Looking dumbfounded in their hands when I handed them good old Canadian Money for their change.
"What's this" they sputter in complete disbelief.
"What am I supposed to do with this?"
And of course being the customer service person I am all comments remain inside my little head.
For example "How about you use it to spend while you are in Canada, because unlike Amercian states that I have travelled to, we Canadians actually oblige you Americans and take your money. I am soooo sorry that you receive Canadian money as your change. But funnily enough my cash register does not have an endless supply of world currency. Just the odd American dollar here and there, sometimes. Annnnnd the kicker is at this moment in time the Canadian dollar is worth more than the Amercian dollar.

For some reason this drives Americans around the bend. I don't like it, but for different reasons. They are insulted because they seem to think Canada is a thirdworld country and can't possibly have a strong dollar. Unfortunately for us Canadians, when our dollar is so strong it hurts us economically.

Phew! This is starting to look like an Economic lecture. I will stop while I am ahead.
Suffice it to say, I find it most amusing when people of other countries can't believe that Canadian money isn't just for playing Monopoly.

Some day, I am hoping that someone comes through our little touristy store and actually has an inkling of what's going on in the world.

toodles

I really suck at this editing stuff

How come I can't get my picture to look nice at the top of my blog.
I need to take a course or something.

sorry about that

previous post, probably makes most people say "stop feeling sorry for yourself"
true enough,
mostly it is the loss of a person who you held dear to your heart
that makes you feel like crap
you second guess yourself all the time

nothing like talking on a blog to no one in partciular

to make you feel like you are the lowliest piece of shit ever to walk the planet

sobering thoughts

I just read in my previous posts of my regrets and the one that I would regret the most was falling asleep when I shouldn't. Such shocking words when my 11 year old son's best friend, just lost his mom last week. She was only 40 years old and didn't wake up.

What the fuck is with that man!

to dance with you again

I was thinking tonight
of you and your friendship
how I have missed
our clumsy dance together
I read tonight
you are dancing again
I hope in the spring
there will be a chance
for us to dance
once again
I was thinking
in your barn would be fun
:)

I Wonder

who will ever read my words

time

You try to catch it
grasp it in your fingers
it slides through like water
leaving you breathless
touching you briefly
making you think you actually grabbed it
that is the illusion of it
sometimes the only proof of it
is in the lines on your face
wrinkles that only seconds it seems
before
weren't there
I wonder
what will I regret
when it is the last second for me
I suppose
falling asleep when I shouldn't have

those crazy kids

My son tells me I don't really do much around the house.
"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to pick up the groceries. "
"Why don't you just go out and get a better job! "
"Commuting to the city and a 12 hour day would be so easy to do. "
"The kids practically take care of themselves now. "
Sheeesh Mom!

Isn't it amazing how simple life is to a teenager.
Mostly I just laze around the house all day. Right?

Ha!
Hopefully one day he will appreciate just what I do, or maybe he never will.

Onward to 2010

Here it is a new year. So far, so good. Hopefully there will be no judgements in this year. So hard to avoid though.